Where The Moon Is On The Rise
by Maxwell Lily
Summary: She says yes once the tears dry from his face and the pain in her chest fades enough to allow a decision. She thinks it's for the best when his eyes widen, and still thinks so when she's pulled into his embrace. She has no family and no power to her name, but she steals Gwangjong. [Set after episode 13]
1. In regards to marriage

"Sometimes, we run away in order to stay in the same place." — Never Said Goodbye (2016), dir. Lin Yu-Hsien

* * *

She says yes once the tears dry from his face and the pain in her chest fades enough to allow a decision. She thinks it's for the best when his eyes widen, and still thinks so when she's pulled into his embrace. She feels a fragment of guilt in her conscience but she thinks it's okay, it's all going to be okay because he'll be leaving too and that means the future could change, he wouldn't have to kill anyone he loved and that was for the best, right? Ji Mong looks at her with pursed lips, a lecture he could never give her stuck in his throat. Countless lives change the moment she says yes. The moment the king allows it.

She knows better. Knows it had already changed the moment he opened his eyes, her brush still on his skin, and no words could have expressed what she felt at that moment. Too much, too unknown, _I am yours_ still hanging in the air like the summer heat. She makes her decision as she did then, selfish and selfless, for herself and for him, and hopes it works. Hopes their hearts can be eased. Hopes their wounds can heal.

She sees the eighth prince before they leave, and she bows respectfully, can't look him in the eye. Not because she's ashamed but because she doesn't want to. She had offered it to him, one last time, her hand, her whole heart, despite the lies, despite the distrust and the distance, and he had said no. She bows as the fourth prince's wife and his mouth hangs open, eyes full of emptiness. Had they always been so cold? She had seen light in them but the bad memories overwrote the good ones, as they always do when we allow them to. She limps but So steadies her when she's fatigued, her prince now, her husband. He smiles at her, warmly, but her smile is weaker, and she quickly looks away.

All the way to their new home she wonders if a paradox will come and she'll disappear, the destroyer of reality, all because she said _yes._ She has no family and no power to her name, but she steals Gwangjong. No, not Gwangjong, she tries to will the visions away from her mind and to think only of the prince who held Yeon Hwa back, who talked to her of the palace and who encouraged her to try her best when she wasn't trying at all. She thinks of when he sheltered her in the rain and how he had been forced to leave, _it's all your fault, Go Ha Jin_ , she holds back the tears, it's okay, it's going to be okay. She doesn't disappear. The paradox never comes.

They could have lived farther away but the king pleaded to their hearts and how could they say no to such a benevolent king? The trip lasts only one day and one night and she still considers it a victory. She lies awake on the first night, thinking of what would happen to both of them, what kind of life they would lead. She draws a blank and tries to focus instead on more immediate things, the pain in her knee, the pain in her chest, the abused body of Hae Soo. She's so tired by dawn that she blacks out and has no dreams. The next time she meets Wang So, she lets herself return his smile.

He trains the king's soldiers, always trying to protect his older brother in the best way that he can. Soo continues to practice her reading and writing, her teas and even medicine. She can't make it her job, she's a prince's wife now, but she still makes soaps, tries her best to concoct some that would be beneficial to the king's illness, which So sends to the Damiwon Palace through a messenger. She hopes he's doing well, hopes that history treats him kindly in this new course.

So visits her quarters at night. Not to force any obligation on her, but to look at the stars, sitting by a door that leads outside, his feet dangling slightly and rubbing against flowers, a door to freedom. He asks her if the stars are different there from the ones they see at the palace and she knows he's teasing but she says yes. She tells him that some seem brighter, but unfortunately she can't interpret them like Ji Mong. Even if she stole Hae Soo's star, she hopes it's shining brighter. Wang So grins, lying on his back, contemplating the stars in silence until he falls asleep. She sighs and covers him with a blanket but, unable to let him sleep there, all by himself, she falls asleep next to him, far enough that their bodies don't touch, but close enough that they can feel each other's presence, warmth, comfort. Her knee hurts the next morning, and she only hopes he falls asleep with the door closed next time.

When the king requests his presence, her chest hurts for the first time in months. Her servants grow worried when they see their kind mistress in unrest, pacing, constantly looking at the path she last saw him, where his horse had faded from view. She trusts Moo enough to know he would keep his promise, that he would grant them peace, but the palace meant plots and treachery and blood. She keeps waking in the middle of the night, awoken by nightmares where Wook's sword met So's throat or So's sword pierced Wook's heart. She is sure they will kill each other and every new thought is worse than the last, visions of her own making, and her medicine isn't enough to placate the pain that day.

It's raining when he comes back, the gallops matching her heartbeats. She forgoes decorum and sense altogether when she runs and embraces him, the shock causing him to stay still while the rain drenches them both and her hands, small and rough from her year as a water maid, clench his robes.

"Soo..." His tone is between worry and fondness, and when his hands lead her shoulders back, she can see the same conflict in his eyes. The rain makes the scar visible again.

"Your Highness, I thought you weren't coming back," she says, biting her bottom lip, wiping her tears away from her wet face in futility. "I feared you were never coming back..."

He leads them both inside and away from the scene they caused and asks her to change into warmer clothes while he bathes. When they meet again, she's calm and embarrassed and pours him his favorite tea. The scar is once again hidden behind the cosmetics she gave him.

"So."

He leans forward on the table, elbows supporting him and the usual smile on his lips. She realizes she missed it in the short period he was gone, just like she had missed it in the year they spent apart, and she's so busy staring at him and being glad he's safe and that she doesn't have to miss him anymore that it takes her a few seconds to realize he has spoken.

"Huh?"

"You should call me So."

She looks around but there is no servant in the room, just them and the sound of the rain outside.

"Soo." The sound of her name makes her look back at him. Her heart beats faster but she doesn't take note of it this time, it's not painful. "Try it."

"...So."

Her voice is low and can barely be heard over the falling rain but he hears it. His smile turns his eyes into half-moons and she feels bad something so simple can make him so happy, the power she has over his heart and how she used him and how she's still using him rob her of her smile, of her tranquility. _It's only fair that I make him happy_ , she thinks, as if she hadn't had nightmares of his absence, as if her heart didn't leap the second he came into her view. As if she hadn't been the one to hold him, _it's only fair_ , she thinks, as he lies down and closes his eyes and falls asleep in her room again.

Baek Ah visits some time later, and both are delighted to have him. Soo asks about his health and his life and the king, and when she goes for a walk with him, she asks about the people she couldn't ask about in So's presence, the ones that made him sad. He tells her about Jung's work as a general and about Wook and how he stood close to the king, how he always tried to advise him and guide him and how tense things could be sometimes. The palace never changes, she decides, and her eyes are downcast for a few minutes before Baek Ah starts playing a song with his instrument. She looks up at him in surprise but he just raises his eyebrows and continues playing, and Soo giggles and swings her body slightly to the tune, clapping her hands. At one particularly upbeat moment she twirls and sees So walking away from them and she stops. Baek Ah stops. Soo is confused as to why he wouldn't join them and Baek Ah just rushes to him.

He's in her room that night but mostly due to habit, silence permeating the space between them, thick enough to be cut with a knife.

"Were you... jealous of Baek Ah?"

She can see him clenching his jaw and it's not fair. She had been good and thoughtful and she hadn't seen anyone but him since they got married.

"He was just cheering me up, I..."

He doesn't look her way, not to answer her or to listen to her explanation, and she stands up angrily, walking to her bed and lying down with her back to him. A few seconds pass before she looks over her shoulder at him but he's still in the same place, still looking at the night sky, although his jaw is relaxed. She looks away and hot tears fall from her eyes and into her pillow when she hears him walking to his own quarters.

Had it been the walk, the conversation or the music? She knows he trusts Baek Ah, so did he not trust her, just like Wook hadn't? Did he think she would run away?

 _He knows you don't love him._

The anger is quickly replaced by guilt and sadness and the feeling that she's a spoiled brat, still the same spoiled brat who worried Myung Hee till the end. She had been given freedom and a new chance and she still lashed out at her husband. Her... Oh. Oh, it had been the dance. She's a married woman but she was dancing with another man. She covers her face in embarrassment and would kick herself if it wouldn't bring her intense pain.

She doesn't see him the next morning, he's left before she awakes, and it makes her feel worse. She decides to go with the servants to a nearby river where they washed their clothes so she could meditate and find the best way to apologize, hoping his heart could be mended, hoping she could fix it. The servants eye their mistress curiously as she sighs multiple times to herself by the riverbank before she gives up and goes for a walk. There's no one else around so she thinks it's okay, maybe she can pick some herbs or flowers and come up with a good way to cheer the prince up.

Unfortunately for her plans, only a few minutes pass before she comes across her husband napping amongst the plants.

Only he's not really napping, his eyes look at her when she comes close, and they quickly close again. She doesn't like being ignored but she sits close to him in silence, touching the river water with her toes, thinking about the best way to start a conversation. It's exceedingly warm and her head hurts from thinking too much and she half-hopes he'll talk first, lash out or do anything, when an idea comes to her. She hears a rustling sound that indicates he's sat up and before he says anything, she has leaned forward and thrown a handful of water at him.

Wang So wipes his face clean and stares at her indignantly.

"Hey."

Hae Soo is biting her bottom lip but the corners of her mouth are turned upwards. She stands up and walks ankle-deep into the water, Wang So doing nothing but stare, and she kicks water at him again. He raises his eyebrows and starts to stand up the moment she starts to walk away from him, backwards, careful step after careful step, hoping her smile will bring his back. They start running at the same time and she can feel the water splashing against her back and she's giggling. She stops and turns to face him and the hems of her skirt are soaked when she lets go to throw water at him. The servants are too far away to see but not far enough not to hear the prince and his wife in a war of laughter on that sunny afternoon. They play and play, saying nothing the entire time, barely stopping to breathe, being forced to stop when Hae Soo's knee feels the strain of her efforts and she almost collapses. So catches her before she hurts herself further and walks them both away from the water.

They look at themselves and Soo lets out a short laugh at their state. So rolls his eyes.

"We should head back," she says, looking up at the orange sky of dusk. She starts limping away when he grabs her wrist. Before she asks, he's already kneeling on the ground.

"I'll carry you." She blushes and opens her mouth to object but he cuts her off. "You're hurt."

Feeling like she shouldn't ruin what her perfect plan conquered, she leans against his back, arms around his neck as he holds her legs and stands up, carrying her back home. She lets silence settle back in and it's more comfortable this time around, but there's something still missing and she can't walk away from it.

"I'm sorry," she whispers. "There are still things I'm not used to, I... I'm sorry."

He never stops walking and her stomach hurts every second that he doesn't reply. It's worse when he does.

"Do you want to divorce me, Soo?"

"What?"

She looks at his face but he's still looking ahead.

"I told you, you can divorce me if you don't like me. I don't want you to go from one cage to another. I married you to set you free." He moves his head slightly in her direction. "I want you to be happy, Soo."

She had already forgotten that promise. How long had he been thinking about it? Was it only a day? Or had he considered it for longer? She's sure now that he was never angry about her dancing with Baek Ah, not exactly, it was something else. _I want you to be happy._ He liked her, she knew that much, he had made it very clear, and if she thought she should give him happiness for his good heart, then he...

You can't do your best to fall in love. It's not how it works. It doesn't matter how well you behave or really anything you do if it isn't already there, if there's no pull. But if she divorces him, he'll leave. She probably won't be homeless and she'll probably be able to find comfort and there'll be no resentment. He will leave. Maybe he'll go back to the palace to help his brother and she will be left to her own devices, will find a way to make a living, and he'll be far away. He'll still cover his scar because she taught him how and he won't even have a reason to see her anymore. He, who destroyed and suffered and did his best to fix it. He, who cared if she lived or died. He, who bared himself to her, body and soul. Whose life she changed. Whose life changed hers. His arms holding her in her grief. His affection while she lied bloodied and weak. His affection while _he_ lied bloodied and weak. The way he looked at her. The way he would look at somebody else.

Her hold on him tightens, her shoulders start shaking.

"Please don't," she sobs. "I'll be better, please don't leave, So. I'm sorry, I'm really sorry."

"Soo..."

He can't look at her when she's crying against his shoulder and he can't put her down when she's in pain.

"Let's go home," she says when he stops and considers what he should do. He carries on as she asked and she keeps her eyes closed, regretting her mistakes and the pain she puts him through. When they arrive home, he asks the servants to prepare her a bath to warm her up in the chilliness the evening brought. Her eyes hurt and she doesn't want to think of anything, has already thought too much for one day, experienced too many emotions in one day. She walks into her room after she's done and Wang So stands up from his position. He's serious and she's clutching the fabric of her clothes, hoping he's no longer mad at her.

"How are you feeling?" He asks, brows furrowing in worry. "Does it still hurt?" Soo shakes her head.

"I'll be fine now," she says, managing a small smile So mirrors. He hesitates for a second before he brings a hand to pat her head, to caress her temple.

"I made you cry," he says. "I'm a terrible husband."

"We're more alike than we thought," Soo says, and it was supposed to be a joke but she enjoys the thought, enjoys it more when So moves and kisses her forehead, the gesture making her touch his waist unconsciously, her fingers tracing the patterns of the fabric. "Let's not fight anymore," she whispers because he's still very close, she can feel his breath on her face but she's not ready to look up.


	2. In regards to the truth

She halts at the door to his study, having announced herself in a voice so small he didn't hear, still focused on his book. So still studies on his own, even if Ji Mong is no longer around to guide him. Looking at him, brows furrowed and lips slightly pursed in deep thought, Soo wonders how he would react to the wonders of Seoul, the quick information of the twenty-first century and all the technology she was used to. She remembers how he tried to reason with the king when she was his unwilling bride and pictures him in a carefree life, winning debates in class, wandering through a bookstore reading about princes in a world that didn't need them anymore. She's glad that she could at least bring something with her, that she could cover the scar that afflicted him, just like everybody else did in her time, covering their imperfections and aspiring to be greater and better, a better version of themselves. She liked the old version of himself, not the one who threatened her, but the one she came to know. She was still learning about the new him, the one who wouldn't let go of her. They had time.

When he puts the book away and starts writing, she's reminded of somebody else. The memory comes so violently that the tea set she's carrying rattles against the tray, as if she had let go, if only for a split second. So looks up at her and smiles but her own is forced, just like her bow, and she tries her best not to tremble when she pours his tea. She mentally thanks Lady Oh for her diligence in her training.

 _I owe it to him,_ she thinks later, eyes focusing for a long time on the same page of a new book So bought her. _He deserves to know the truth. He's saved me like he promised._ Her thoughts and feelings battle for coherence in his presence, she feels like that is not quite that reason, not the whole reason, but it's the reason she accepts.

"It was the eighth prince." She blurts out, out of nowhere, like the sudden rush of the present after a nightmare. Outside, the cicadas perform a symphony. "Back then it was, I was— It was the eighth prince." When So only stares at her, eyes large and unblinking, she feels the need to continue. "After I died— almost died, he brought me comfort, he was kind and he and Myung Hee made me feel like I belonged." Her eyes well up with tears but she doesn't let them fall, feels they're out of place once her cousin's name fall from her lips. "Even when she was around, I..." Her words hang in the air, her own heart sinking to the bottom of her stomach.

"You couldn't change the direction of your heart."

Through the fog of her tears she sees him, but he doesn't see her, he's looking outside and away. He says it like it's a fact but it's a memory, a half-remembered memory in the back of her mind, and the days before and after the memory make her cry, not for the man but for herself, for her embarrassment. Wang So doesn't comfort her, not this time, he lets her cry. _He abandoned me, he lied to me,_ she thinks and she mutters and she sobs, and the worst part is that she couldn't understand why, not the turning point or the final point, the jealousy and the promises and the wait. He always made her wait. It still hurt. Hurt more when she thought she never understood the people who left her behind.

She doesn't remember falling asleep or moving to her bed. She only knows it's morning by the light in her room and the soft footsteps that wake her up. He's gone before she can call out his name, she can't remember how he reacted other than the way he moved his jaw in displeasure. She didn't want them to fight, she told him _because_ they had promised not to fight anymore and that was the second biggest secret she kept in Goryeo. He didn't say anything or even go near her and her chest feels cluttered with knives when she thinks about it all and that's when she sees it. The piece of paper folded neatly on the table. She picks it up and unfolds it and takes a moment to absorb it.

It's a poem.

She reads it once and she's not sure she understands it all, because of her lacking knowledge and because it's a poem sure to contain many meanings, but still she rushes outside and almost gives the servants who were about to enter her room to help her get dressed a heart-attack. She asks them if they saw the prince and they inform her he's already left for his daily routine and her shoulders visibly fall. It's one of the days he'll be surrounded by soldiers and she can't approach him. She's disappointed and anxious because she's not sure how to respond when she sees him, a _thank you_ would feel out of place but she's not yet ready to pick a poem of her own, what if she chose the wrong one, the wrong meaning, no, that wouldn't do. Resigned to wait, she tries something else instead. Her brushstrokes feel awkward on the blank sheet, tracing over his writing in a poor imitation, and she narrows her eyes in concentration. By the tenth attempt she feels she understands it a bit better; the poem, the meanings, the man whose writing was that of a prince and not a monster.

She doesn't even notice him coming up behind her until he snatches the poem away from her hands and inspects it with apparent interest. She's embarrassed, almost feeling like the girl who drew emojis for a different prince, once upon a time. After the eternity of an entire minute, Wang So folds the poem and puts it away in his robes.

"I'll accept your response," he says, looking down at his blinking wife with ink smudged on her cheek. He lets out a short laugh and moves to brush it away and Soo never looks away from him, she's happy that he's there, that he's laughing and that he's still himself, and she feels... surprised. Wonders if he decided to forget it all or accept it all, just like that.

He keeps his fingers on her face for longer than would have been necessary, until she knows it's a caress, until she sees the new So, the So who said he loved her, who married her, look down at her. Until the smile falters in his lips.

"Wook was planning a coup," he starts, voice low and paused. "Before the king's passing. On the day of the peace gathering, I saw him wearing armor under his robes. And even before that, I told him... I told him who had plotted to kill the crown prince and who framed you and he didn't do anything."

Hae Soo blinks up at him. For the next seconds, she doesn't know what to do with the new information other than to pile it up with the other lies and disappointments. She thought she didn't have any tears left but they fall down from her eyes freely. There's no sobbing this time, only her eyes, filled with tears, looking at Wang So, who kneels before her and wipes her tears away. He had made his way to her, so far he was the night before, but he crept closer and closer, her hands still smeared with the ink spent on his poem the entire day. If she fell, he would be close enough to catch her.

"I thought he wouldn't change," she says, her voice and sight unfocused. "He said he was going to marry me."

"I'm glad he didn't."

She's forced to look at him, properly, fully, and his eyes blink slowly, unapologetic. She's halfway to heartbreak, halfway back to the misery of the one year she spent as a water maid, _how could he be glad about this_ , and it's outrageous and upsetting but he grabs her hand and pulls her and embraces her and she knows why. She should feel a little betrayed that he would be glad despite her pain but he was consistent. He had said before that he would kill the man she loved and she still wasn't sure if he meant it or not but he always said it all. And after, when she thought about it, there were so many what if's she could hang on to; what if she had married Wook, what if they had been happy, what if he abandoned her like Taejo abandoned Lady Oh, what if she had never been betrayed, what if she had never gone to Goryeo?

She feels cold that night and So walks her to bed, tucks her in and looks after her. She lets him lie down next to her and he has the grace not to smile, looking down at her and running a hand up and down her arm. He's not glad she was abandoned, not really, she knows that much, just like she knows why he spoke about Wook, why he shared what he knew. There were already so many promises between them, spoken and unspoken, that she falls asleep easily, without thinking of anything, and wakes up to him, unguarded and vulnerable, concealer faded to nothing during the night. There is no worry on his brow or pressure on his jaw, there's just sleep, his arms close to his body as if in a conscious effort to not invade her space. She touches his scar with her fingertips, careful not to disturb him, and thinks of what if's.

She closes her eyes again, there's still time before dawn, she's half asleep and half conscious, indulging in the warmth of his body and of the present.


	3. In regards to Go Ha Jin

Soo doesn't expect Wang So to look amused when he receives a letter from the king. She wants to take a peek but tries her best to keep a cool exterior until he's done, after which she raises her eyebrows in question and curiosity.

"The Kangs went to greet the king," he says, folding the letter and putting it away. "His Majesty tells me they asked about me."

Soo hums knowingly, and a different question pops in her head. She drinks her tea, mustering the courage to ask.

"So," she starts, and he looks up at her, smile less ironic and more genuine. "What was it like?" A pause, he shifts in his seat. "Shinju. Your childhood, what sort of things happened?"

"You know what sort of things happened." He says, no edge to the words.

"Bits and pieces. I want to know more." She can't tell what he's thinking as he stares at her so she lowers her head, looks at her twiddling fingers. "About your childhood."

They had talked about moving forward before, about leaving the worst things behind, about the future. She knows So left Shinju behind when he came to the palace, she knows that he absolutely refused to go back there after they got married, and, of course, there had been the wolves and the fire. But there were mysterious figures and looks exchanged between Moo and Ji Mong that told stories she wants to know. She trusts So, the man who keeps his promises, but she wants to know him more. Wants to know the different sides of him and his story, wants to avoid surprises and disappointments. Soo is a twenty-first century woman so she knows there's no way to fully know someone, and she knows that one's past doesn't shape their future — there are so many things one has to leave behind, so many things one has to adopt in order to _adapt_ , but still... Still she wants to listen.

He stands up and walks to the passage in her room, looks outside with his arms crossed, the breeze touching his hair and the flowers outside. She's ready to take it back, to resign herself to the limited knowledge she has, it's not worth it, it had been a selfish request, and the syllable is on her lips when he starts to talk.

"It was dark and cold when I first got there. Even in the morning sun, there were so many shadows wherever I looked, so many people following me, they felt like whispering towers. Mostly I remember the look on their faces when they saw me, and I remember her crying. Concubine Kang. I remember her screaming."

He weaves his story as Soo moves to his side and together they sit, never looking at each other as So keeps his eyes on the memories, and the hunger, and the beatings. He talks about General Park and how unexpected his presence had been, the lessons and the hope they brought, the hope of being a prince again, and how he was still locked up most days. He talks about how it was worse when she wanted to see him, when she asked for him and called him her son because he knew it was much worse after that. He talks about how he enjoyed the look on their faces when he came back alive after they assumed him dead, and how it felt to disappoint _them_ , to frustrate their desperate tries to kill him, and how much better it was than wanting to die. He talks about the way he was just waiting for the right chance. About the day he could leave the shadows behind. About how he missed Ji Mong's gibberish.

He talks until he has nothing more to remember or doesn't want to remember anymore and he looks at her. Hae Soo is staring at the flowers and she's not. He can see her hands clutching her skirt, how they don't stop even after he's done, how she barely moves, even when she breathes. And for the first time he notices she's wearing the hairpin, _his_ hairpin, the only adornment in her hair, and he can't even tell when she put it on. He could swear she wasn't wearing it in the morning but he doesn't trust his recent memory after his spiritual trip to Shinju.

"Soo," he says, softly. "Look at me."

"What did you ever do to any of them?"

She doesn't look at him and he doesn't ask again. He just waits.

"How could she harm you if she had lost her son, if she knew what it was like to see a child die, how could— _any_ of them, you were a _child,_ I..."

So reaches out for her hand before she hurts herself. He expected pity, not anger, the thin line of her mouth and the tears that she wipes away carelessly. His lips curl upwards when he remembers how defiant she was when it came to justice and fairness, that maybe it wasn't so surprising, the anger. He doesn't remember anyone being angry on his behalf. He pulls her hand closer to him, the hand of a well-born lady that had stumbled and fallen and bruised, a hand that had once been soft and immaculate but had seen difficult days, and if he moves up to her wrist there is a scar. A memory. And she still cares about justice.

"I saved a child once," Soo speaks, head only slightly bowed in his direction. "He was drowning and I was afraid no one would be there for him so I tried to help. I thought it was the right thing to do. Despite everything that was wrong in my life, I knew it was the right thing to do."

"What was it like?"

"Huh?"

She finally looks at him, and he sees the way anger almost always fades into melancholy. Her hand loses its force in his and he traces the lines on her palm, guides her melancholy away from Shinju through a different door, a door that was a complete mystery to him. Her eyes are still red when she blinks at him in confusion.

"Where you came from. What was it like?"

She gaps like a fish and he chuckles.

"I lost my memory, remember?"

"Still," he says, holding her hand in both of his, tracing her scar. "You've talked about being betrayed and about your talents before. You've talked like you have a world of experiences in you, so tell me, Hae Soo," he leans closer to her, "what was it like where you came from?"

Soo kicks her feet like a child and he waits. Even if she evades the question, it's better than the tension. Even if she evades the question, he still loves her a bit more tonight.

"It's not that different from here in certain aspects. Your parents still have high expectations of you. There's still discrimination and hate, but," she looks up at the sky, the first stars starting to appear, "it felt bigger. It was a bigger place. And anybody can be what they want if they really try. No one is bound to anything from birth."

"So why did you leave?"

Her fingers curl up around his hand. She looks at him and shrugs.

"I lost everything, so maybe I was sent here to find something. Maybe I can bring it with me next time."

"Will you take me there?"

Hae Soo smiles, maybe in amusement, he's not sure, he just knows she smiles.

"If you can go there."

"I'll try really hard." He closes his eyes as he tries to recall that one word. "Fi... Fighting?"

Soo laughs and he never would have expected their evening could turn out like that. He pulls her closer until she's flush against his side, his arm around her shoulders, and her head falls naturally against him. He rests his head against hers and they sit in silence, closer than they had been before, as though a whole world had been shared between them. He closes his eyes, enjoying her willingness to lean against him and her hand still in his.

"I had a different name there," she says, kicking her feet again. He likes it when she does it, it's like all her pain has been undone and she still has braids in her hair. His hairpin. It's his hairpin in her hair. His heart.

"Did you?"

"Go Ha Jin."

He opens his eyes and backs away only enough to look at her. When she feels the loss of warmth, she looks up.

"Go Ha Jin," he says, and there's something in her eyes, a light, he thinks she might cry but it's just her smile, reaching all the way up.

"Yes. Ha Jin."

"Do you want me to call you that... Ha Jin?"

She shakes her head, darling hair flipping around.

"It's okay."

She lets her head fall on his shoulder again, her arm circling his, and his heart might just burst in his chest.

"I'm also older than you."

He scoffs.

One acceptance at a time.


	4. In regards to love

Hae Soo takes up styling his hair and covering his scar every morning. She never asks him; she just shows up one day with the idea in her head and he blinks but obliges, certainly because it appeases him as well. The first time reminds her of Court Lady Oh and King Taejo but it quickly slips away from her mind. It reminds her more of her old job, how she would care for women and how she made them glow. She likes bringing comfort and joy, likes being _able_ to do so, even if it's just something small, and she shriveled when it was taken away from her, when everything started going wrong after Myung Hee died. If she were in Seoul, it might have been out of place to provide a husband such care, life was so busy for everyone and everyone was independent when it came to their body and morning routines, but it fit Goryeo. It was an acceptable ritual. It was something she could do.

Wang So glows before she's even touched his skin. He keeps his eyes open and on her just as she turns to him, she can feel them as she works, and sometimes she asks him kindly, playfully, to stop, she tells him that he's distracting, and he abides, only to open a single eye, the one she works around, and she does her best to ignore him and not laugh.

She feels peaceful when she brushes his hair, and sometimes she takes a bit too long, taking too much time choosing the right ornament, the right ribbon, deciding to go for a ponytail or against it, asking him his schedule for the day and working with it, sometimes changing his outfit entirely. So doesn't tend to rush her, except the few times he's running late for training and Soo purses her lips, forced to make quick, simpler choices. Most of the time she takes her time choosing him colors — she likes red on him the best, and the ornament with the ruby and intricate design — and when they go out to the market together, their colors are complementary. She barely notices she does it the first time.

 _We're a couple_ , she thinks, looking at her reflection who's putting on an earring that was a gift from him. It's not surprising to her, it's a fact. No, it's something else that surprises her. It's how natural it feels to walk through the market with him and how she misses him when she goes there with the servants, even if she likes them a lot, if she's become friends with them. It's how she feels proud of him when she sees him working, walking with his back straight and hands behind his back amongst the soldiers, and when his arrow hits the bullseye. It's how she enjoys tracing over the poems he sends her occasionally, like they're sending notes in class and she's scribbling his name on the corners of her notebook. It's how she wakes up before him some mornings, and he's fallen asleep beside her on her bed as they were talking, and she traces his scar fondly, basking in the knowledge of his past and in the past and present and future they shared.

He doesn't try to kiss her anymore, not after they've married, almost as if pushing her away with unwanted advances would mean sending her away. Or maybe her acceptance, of his proposal and of him, had been a source of joy on its own, and he's glad to be with her every morning, to wake up and know she chose him. Hae Soo doesn't know. There are maybes and almosts, and there are still touches she has allowed with time, touches they're comfortable with, touches she initiates. And then there's the impulse. When they're sitting down facing each other, her brush working on his scar and his eyes closed for once, because he gets tired too, he studies and trains and leaves and comes back to her. There's her impulse. Her craving.

It had been a long time. It used to be something simple. A kiss used to make her happy then a kiss had ruined her life, a kiss she wasn't supposed to see. And then, in Goryeo, she barely had time to think about it, she _couldn't_ think about it, it meant a different kind of intimacy, something that lasted longer, much longer, and Wook only told her he loved her once.

And then there had been So. She had been afraid. First of him. Then for him. And then...

He looks tired that morning. She knows it's the letter he got from Ji Mong, she didn't even see him go to bed the night before. He leans on her touch like a cat so she runs her fingers along with the brush, she pats his hair into place, she tries to be as gentle as possible. He looks up and smiles at her, briefly, when she stands in front of him and he closes his eyes, waiting for her to start applying the concealer, but she doesn't move. She dressed him in blue and white, a dark blue ribbon adorning his ponytail, and he looks calm, serene, the same way he looks when he's asleep. He's an intelligent and strong man who had been through and seen many things but he looks young then. Actually his age. Vulnerable. His chin is slightly raised in her direction.

Her thumb touches his scar but there's no make-up on it, she hasn't started yet. He doesn't know it's a caress, he just waits. _I want to protect you._ She leans in on his space like she had done many times to hide the scar away, but she's looking at it then, it's hers to look at, she had never been afraid of it and it had never looked ugly, it was just a scar. _You're beautiful, So._ She leans in on his space like he had done many times, and all those times but one he had respected her wishes. All those times but one.

This is her one.

He starts opening his eyes the exact moment she closes hers. Her lips touch his as her hand shifts to cup his cheek. He doesn't move, he only inhales the moment they touch. Soo moves her lips once and that's when he seems to realize it, to take notice, to know it's real, she feels his fingers slowly moving to touch her elbow then her upper arm, and she moves back before he pulls her forward, into him, into lips that were finally starting to reach out, that ached for her. She pulls back and turns her back to him, and he whispers,

"Soo..."

His voice is too much and she's very conscious of the redness on her face. She grabs hold of the concealer and turns back to him, ready to start. Even the skin on her neck burns.

"Soo," he repeats, holding her wrist, applying no pressure, just holding it back and searching for an answer in her eyes, and she pushes him back the moment he starts standing up.

"We shouldn't take long," she says as she starts working on him. "Everyone's waiting for us."

"They can wait."

"So."

He raises his eyebrows in playful question and she shakes her head, failing to suppress a laugh. Their noses almost touch and in the back of her mind she thinks he's going to steal a kiss but he doesn't. He looks at her, barely blinking, as if Hae Soo would disappear if he looked away.

"What did Ji Mong say?" She applies the product with her fingertips and tilts her head, considering her work her art, and him her best piece, her best muse. She notices he finally sets his gaze down.

"The king is very sick."

Soo nods. She always tries her best to help soothe his distresses but his burden has always been stronger than her herbs. So looks back at her and she resumes her work.

"Ji Mong believes he needs my support."

She leans back and inspects him from a better distance, and, satisfied, puts the brushes away.

"What do you plan on doing?" She asks, her back to him, and she doesn't hear him standing up or moving at all. When she turns, he's sitting there, internal conflict clear everywhere she looked. There was no foundation that could mask So's emotions.

"I haven't decided yet."

 _Yes, you have._ Soo steps closer, back in front of him, fixes his bangs and smiles.

"And that's why we shouldn't take long. You have a long day ahead of you."

So gives her his lopsided, amused smile, nodding, resigned. Soo steps aside to grant him space, bowing respectfully, the dutiful wife. When she straightens her back, he's right before her, still looking at her and she knows she couldn't distract him entirely, she was still the bird caught by the cat and the cat was looking forward to devouring her. Soo hides her bottom lip, and it's embarrassment, she knows, she probably wouldn't even stop him if he kissed her, even if she's still in a process, her feelings more butterfly than bird and her wings are still folded and weak. He steps inside her personal space and circles his left arm arm around her waist but he doesn't kiss her lips. His right hand is a mirror of her, a caress on her cheek, and she can't remember anyone showering her with such fondness. He kisses her forehead and she closes her eyes and she realizes she would recognize him even in darkness now, she has memorized his exact height and his scent and the feeling of his arms around her. She never thought it about her ex, all they had were pictures she deleted angrily, but pictures were nothing next to the body's memory. _I could never forget you, and if we're ever apart, I'd long for you._

He leaves her after that and she lingers behind, she can see his back even when he's already left.

 _Is this what it was like for you?_

She reads that day, the turmoil inside too big for her to be the productive lady of the house. Whenever she finds verses she likes she writes them down, she wants to share them with him, maybe it'll ease his mind, take the weight off his shoulders, if only a little. She feels silly after a while and puts the book away, staring at her writing and thinking about the king and Ji Mong. They probably miss him. So always seemed happier around them, like they gave him a purpose. The choice is obvious and she thinks of Gwangjong. The man she hadn't seen in months, the visions she had almost forgotten. She wonders if she changed anything in the end, if the visions would return, if Ji Mong saw it, too. She thinks of his stride, of his presence, and the impact he caused when he fought, when he carried out his duties, when he was wholesomely prince Wang So. Her prince. Her studious husband who worried about everyone but himself.

When they meet that night, she's already made up her mind. She watches him fidget through dinner, and she gives him more meat, puts it on his rice to give him strength, and he blinks up at her. The servants share glances between each other, the women are glad that this new chapter has begun for the kind masters of the house. When they're alone, she watches him gather up the courage to talk to her, unable to look at her, and she worries that he's afraid of telling her.

"So," she calls, and his head snaps in her direction. _Finally._ "You can tell me."

Sitting side by side, she reaches out for his hand for the first time. She gives it a reassuring squeeze and she doesn't like how cold it feels, so she cocoons it between both her hands. So looks down at their joined hands and she can feel him curls his fingers around hers. And he starts.

"I want to support the king. I want to support my brother."

She pats his hand, knowingly.

"I'm sure mother is looking for ways to hurt him, and she should be more vicious now that is Yo is gone."

Soo nods. He still won't look at her.

"And Wook..." He looks at her then. "All these worries must be heavy on Moo. I receive reports from Ji Mong but we can't rely only on letters. It'll only be a few days at a time, Soo, I promise."

"I'm coming with you."

She welcomes his worried frown. It's much better than the anxiety.

"Soo!"

"So." She moves closer to him so that their shoulders are touching. "The king and Ji Mong care for you but they're relying on you more than you are relying on them." She moves a hand to his cheek, to the scar that's becoming visible again after a day's time. It never really goes away. Unwavering, like him. "You need someone to support you."

"I'll have Baek Ah, you don't need to—"

"So." She feels a bit like her age then, all the years added to experience, and it's Go Ha Jin who speaks. "I'm not leaving you alone with your mother. I won't let her hurt you anymore."

His lips tremble and she's pulled into his embrace, his face buried on the crook of her neck. She shivers slightly when his breath touches her skin but she embraces him back, tightly at first, and then one hand moves up and down his back, soothingly, her eyes closing in tranquility, all her senses are he. When he pulls back, she wipes the tears away from his eyes, it's the only thing he allows her to do before he moves in and kisses her. It's nothing like the first time, he's not seeking comfort, he already has it, he's only seeking her, her response. She already loves his hand on her neck, moving up to her scalp, and how it feels both slow and fast, his lips finding the angles to best capture hers, their breaths that escape them when they part, and the next kiss, and the next. She doesn't think it's healthy for her heart to beat so fast and she can swear he hears her thoughts when he kisses the corner of her lips and her cheek and simply holds her close again, allowing her to collect herself.

"Soo," he whispers next to her ear and she feels so warm. Pulling back from her, he moves his hands to hold her face. She's not sure she's done enough to be held so preciously. "Ha Jin," he says. He can't really hear her thoughts, she's sure of it, because he would have spared her heart, would have spared her sensibilities and wouldn't have exposed her, Go Ha Jin, making her feel so loved. She's blinking her tears away when he kisses her again, and her lips are sensitive but Soo, Ha Jin, would have kissed him many times more. Her husband. Her Wang So.

They sleep in each other's arms, and in the morning, she wakes up first. She brushes his hair away from his face and watches him wake up, slowly, eyes blinking open and lips forming the most contented smile. "It's early," she whispers, caressing his temple. "Go back to sleep." He takes hold of her hand and kisses her wrist — her scar —, before closing his eyes again. In the early morning, his own scar is clearly visible, and she touches it, adores it, loves it.

"I love you."

She blushes when he snaps his eyes open and stares at her. She would have looked away but she thinks she's looked away enough. He's done enough and he should know.

 _If we're ever apart, I'd long for you._

 _I don't want to be apart from you._

"Can we stay here a little longer?" She whispers, scooting closer until her nose is touching his chest and she inhales his scent. She would go to the palace, she would go for him, but she wants to be Go Ha Jin a little longer, not Hae Soo and all the palace etiquette she learned and would have to revisit because she'd be Hae Soo for his sake. Ha Jin feels a little greedy, a little selfish and a little needy, she has gone through so much and for so long without affection, she knows she's worthy of it, as is So. She wants to make up for the whole year they spent apart, when his thoughts were always on her and she couldn't help her own going to him. He holds her so tightly she giggles.

"We can stay here the whole day." He nuzzles her and Soo — Ha Jin — feels ticklish.

"That's not what I meant," she mumbles and does her best to keep her eyes open and on him, even when his fingers start running through her hair.

"I know." So touches his forehead to hers. "But I want to."

Soo hums. "Maybe just for today," she concludes, giving him a peck on the lips and receiving the warmest smile in return. He pulls her into another kiss, and when she feels him smiling into the kiss she thinks that she's found a home, after all. After everything, she hopes her cousin is not disappointed in her, that she can look down at the two of them and be happy that Hae Soo's heart has found the path it wants to take, a friendly hand taking hers along the way, and that Lady Oh won't be angry at her for trusting and believing in love. How could she ever live alone in this world? How could she live without hope? She sighs contentedly when they part, admiring the dim light of dawn and how it softens his features.

"I'm glad you exist, Ha Jin."

 _Oh, dear mothers of mine..._

Her cheeks hurt from smiling too much and she hides away from his loving gaze and bared scar, lest she falls for them as hard as she falls for his words, and she's sure he can feel her blush through the fabric of his robes.

 _I think I've finally found happiness in this world. And I've finally found a way to give it. Please protect us so that we never lose it. Please protect our stars, from this moment on, so that nothing can set them apart._

She falls asleep to his love confession and dreams of a world where it lasts over a thousand years.

* * *

The story is not yet over but I'd like to take a moment to thank you all for the kind reviews, the kindest words. It makes me so happy, from people who have been talking to me ever since I started writing for Scarlet Heart to the ones who came to me after this piece, writers in their own right. It humbles me, and my heart almost bursts. Thank you so much. I hope you enjoy it despite any historical inaccuracies.

Merry Christmas.


	5. In regards to the palace

"Soo."

He's the first one she sees after she exits the throne room. She bows respectfully, says "Eighth Prince" in acknowledgment and refuses to look at him. She wants nothing more than to leave and head for the Damiwon to check on all the herbs and medicines they had been preparing the king like she had promised she would, and she decides to do just that when she remembers she's no longer a court lady who needs to remain bowed in the presence of princes. She's only taken a few steps before he speaks again.

"Why? I mean—," he stumbles on words and she turns to him. He used to meet her with smiles and grins, but his face is strangely empty. "Have you returned to the palace?"

"My husband and I are visiting the king, as we are worried about his health. We shan't stay long."

"Soo—"

"Your highness," she cuts him off, carrying herself with the posture of a princess. "Please keep in mind I'm a married woman now. It'd do me no good to be treated with such familiarity by another man." Wook swallows visibly and she's leaving, her steps echoing the nervousness of her heart, when he asks,

"What if he's appointed as crown prince? Will you... still wish to stay away from the palace? Will you divorce him before he becomes king?"

Soo's hand trails up to the hairpin she's secured in place in her bun, mind trailing in Gwangjong's direction, the visions she's lost and the equally imprecise dreams left in their wake. Dreams of her own insecurities, fears and hopes. Dreams of a life spent in companionship. When she looks at Wook again, she doesn't keep her head low. She smiles a polite smile she learned from her cousin.

"If the fourth prince is appointed as crown prince, I can think of no greater honor. I'm sure he shall fulfill his duty with as much dedication as he's done in all his endeavors, and I'm sure the late King Taejo will be proud of him as he watches over his reign. However, it is far too early to speak of such a thing, as King Hyejong has still many years ahead of him. Now, your highness," she bows again, "if you'll excuse me, I'm awaited at the Damiwon."

Unable to sustain her gaze, Wook speaks into the air between them, "You've changed... Hae Soo."

"I have not, your highness." Her vision loses focus, recalling how easily they had convinced themselves that what they had was real, when all they had were laughter and proximity and her own efforts. And a kindness that felt like the whole world at the time. "I believe we just didn't know each other at all."

"And you know So?" She can glimpse the jealousy in his eyes. She wonders how she never caught it before. If he was just that good at hiding it, just like he kept so many things inside. It'd have been easier if he didn't. Or not. Who knows where they'd be if he didn't.

"Everyone knows the fourth prince." Her smile reaches her eyes. "It's the reason he's feared."

"You know the things he's done, Soo."

"Even a dog has its star, your highness. And it shines the brightest."

She leaves before he says anything about So, although she doesn't believe he will, not where other people could overhear and know him a little better. At the Damiwon, she kindly questions the senior court lady about the king's baths and treatments, and inspects the ingredients and the water temperature. She tries to engage in friendly talk, talks about her time as a court lady, all the invaluable lessons she learned there, and ignores the guilty look on the woman's face, a woman she met before, who had bullied her when she was nobody and who was scared of punishment now that she has the king's favor. She talks about books she read — books she read easily now, as easy as the ones from her time, her handwriting perfected and a bit too similar to her husband's over time from too many poems and passages and messages —, and she gives her new tips, hoping it'll ease the king's spirit and pain. She's marveled at the new, imported ingredients at the court ladies' disposal and she makes her own notes in her room, concocting a good bath for the king, hoping she can be as helpful as So.

She's still writing when he enters their quarters and she smiles broadly at him, as if they hadn't seen each other at dinner.

"What are you doing?" He asks her, standing behind her to look at her writing.

"I'm writing down my findings at the Damiwon today. I think I can come up with a way to help the king with his illness a bit more." She looks up at him and he nods, eyebrows raised, and Soo feels proud of herself. "What about you? How was your day?"

"Ji Mong has filled me in on recent developments on the clans, and how the king worries about their whispers behind his back. General Park is meeting with us tomorrow to talk about our defenses at the borders. We should come up with good strategies to set the king's mind at ease."

"Has he been feeling that restless?" She frowns when So sighs, clearly seeing the weight making its way back on his shoulders.

"It's always been one of his traits, and I'm not sure if he gets worse as the illness progresses or if the illness progresses because it gets worse." Soo is sure it's a bit of both, but she takes hold of his hand, and tries to speak in a tone he's used with her before, many times.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out and that he'll be even a little glad now that his little brother is by his side."

So kisses her forehead and she closes her eyes, opening them a second later with an idea.

"Why don't we have a bath at the Damiwon?"

So blinks.

"Soo, it's late."

"We won't take long! Let's go!"

So seems a little nervous but she pushes forward, eager to bring at least a little bit of the tranquility of her home to the palace, to care for him as she promised. He spoke of no encounter with his mother and he didn't appear to be worried about anything else than his brother, and for that she is glad, but they are bound to meet before their visit is over, and she's sure she's bound to come across Yeon Hwa, so she wants them to be energized for those meetings. The palace didn't have to be full of only bad memories.

And she does recall one particular memory when he steps into the water, his upper torso bared. She doesn't get into the water with him, not yet, she just watches and remembers one of their disastrous meetings and the first time she felt herself drawn to him. Unlike Wook, who kept all of his emotions to himself, So had shown her a different side of himself that day, only to cover it up with aggression, the sort of defense he used to jump to.

Soo keeps her knees close to her chest, her chin propped up on one of her palms, just looking at him as he submerged and emerged, scar making itself visible along with all the others to her eyes. He looks at her and tilts his head.

"What are you thinking about? Why are you looking at me like that?" He walks closer to her, never breaking eye contact.

"I was thinking about you today."

"You were?"

Soo nods.

"I was thinking about your star and how beautiful it is. I hadn't thought about it before."

She moves closer to him, closer to the edge, her feet dangling above the water.

"Ji Mong has said it's bright."

"The star of a king."

Her hand cups his cheek, fingers grazing her favorite scar.

"If the king appointed you as Crown Prince, what would you do?"

"I've told you before, Soo, I have no interest in being king, I've only ever wanted to help you. Where we stand, right now, is more than I dreamed of." He keeps his hands on her waist and she's conscious of the thin fabric she's wearing.

"But if you were king, what sort of things would you do?"

He takes a deep breath and looks up, deep in thought.

"I'd make sure to stop this feud amongst brothers. I'd try to live up to my father's accomplishments but do things differently. Keep Goryeo safe." He moves a hand to her hair, tucking the strands behind her ear. "My father had his hands tied and was forced to do things he didn't want to do. I don't want to be controlled. I don't want to be forced to harm anyone I care about."

Soo thinks about Court Lady Oh and nods. He gives her his lopsided grin.

"But if anything, the clans would have to be most afraid of the queen. She has a strong sense of justice and wouldn't stand for their dirty plans."

Soo widens her eyes. She hadn't thought about it, that if he were king she would be _queen_ since she's his wife. She's so stunned that he takes the opportunity to catch her by surprise, slipping an arm under her knees and the other across her back, lifting her up.

"Hey, wait—!"

"What's wrong?" He asks, laughter in his words, feet moving deeper into the Damiwon waters. "I thought you wanted to take a bath."

He drops her into the water and Soo's yelp is heard shortly before the splash of water. So laughs when she emerges, coughing, hair sticking to her face.

" _Wang So!_ Is this any way to treat a drowning survivor?! Do you want to be a widower?!"

"I was positive you wouldn't drown this time, Lady Hae, when you have no need to hide underwater after being caught peeping on princes."

She gasps.

"I was not peeping! I was _lost_!"

"Did you get lost twice then?"

She splashes water on him.

"Maybe I did, you don't know that."

"Or maybe you just wanted to peep on the prince you missed the first time because you're fearless and a pervert."

He splashes water back at her and she places her hands over her mouth in mock horror.

"How can you say that about your wife?"

Outside the closed doors, the court ladies look at each other, amazed at the laughter and wondering how long it had been since fun had been so clearly expressed at the palace, and marveled that the fourth prince, who had always been so intimidating, had such a side to him, just like every man and woman, in which he could find joy at loving and being loved. They didn't know that the fourth prince could love even more than the average man and woman, for he had to make up for all the years he yearned for love and it was out of his grasp, and how a little bit of his heart reached her when he kissed her good night and held her under candlelight, making Soo think that it was always him who made her feel safe, who made the palace bearable, and how she would sacrifice her isolation for a life with him, wherever he wanted to be, whatever he wanted to be.

 _I don't want to make it into history, I just want to be with you. And if you are to become Gwangjong, I won't be afraid of you. I'll be afraid for you. I promise to do my best so that I can help you, if only a little._

"So," she whispers, fiddling with his collar. He hums back, eyes still closed, halfway to sleep. "Do you promise to take care of yourself in the palace?"

He chuckles without opening his eyes.

"Only if you promise me the same thing."

"I promise."

He hums again, his hand drawing soothing patterns on her back.

"This includes staying away from my mother."

"Mmm, as long as I don't catch her talking about you."

"Ha Jin."

She giggles.

"I promise not to anger her if I come across her."

She feels him sigh.

"I guess I'll take it."

"...So."

"You should sleep, Ha Jin."

Wook flashes in her mind when she closes her eyes. Wook's expressionless complexion. Wook asking her why. Wook forgetting he had offered her the same thing once. Wook forgetting everything she ever told him she wanted.

"I'm glad I married you." Her voice is muffled by his shirt. "They can't undo it, right? Even if you become king?"

"I wouldn't let them. Even if I had to kill them."

 _Even a dog has its star._ She shakes her head.

"I guess I'll take it."

"I love you, Ha Jin, now sleep."

"Yes, beloved husband."

She giggles at her newlywed speech and feels him laugh too. She's happy feelings can be conveyed even with centuries between them. She sleeps and dreams of him as king, smiling at her the same way he's ever done for as long as they have known each other.


	6. In regards to goodbye

She doesn't know when Jung left and when So came in. She's always so tired, so strained, she keeps losing grasp of her consciousness. Her friends cry for her, Baek Ah and Woo Hee try to be strong, they're all teary smiles and plans to look after Seol, to give her the best education so she wouldn't beat a noble up — not in public, anyway. Eun can barely look at her, Soon Duk has to steady him, to lend him her shoulder, and when he asks her if she's going to be all right, that she needs to promise, Soo can only smile weakly, wishing it was a promise she could keep. She never sees Wook. Wonders if he'll think about her death, if he'll resent her in his exile even after she's gone. She stops thinking about him when the memories — of him, of poisoned Moo — hurt too much.

So's there. Every time her eyelids flicker open and she crawls back to the present, he seems to be there. Even though he has a country to run. Even though he has so many other people he's supposed to see. He always seem to brush her hair out of her eyes, to make sure she's warm and comfortable and to hold her when she can't stop shivering. The doctors are able to do very little to minimize her pain. Soo feels So is healing in his own way.

 _I'm a burden to him, in the end_ , she thinks, trying to remember the last time she walked with their daughter, holding her little hand, throwing pebbles at the river and making wishes together. She wonders if the tower she built of prayer stones is still there, if it's going to keep Seol safe after she's gone. She's not sure she'll be able to look after her. Death is a mystery to Go Ha Jin. She wishes she had time to give Seol a sibling, but her body withered like a flower without sun.

"This is my fault," So says one day, or rather one evening, she can see the sun already set when she wasn't looking. "I shouldn't have let you stay here after Moo appointed me as crown prince. This place consumed you, my Soo."

Soo is still strong enough to chuckle at him and tap him on the nose. The only woman allowed to touch him. The wife they couldn't take away from him. He didn't let them. He would marry her a second time if they tried him, she knew he would.

"Don't be silly, your majesty," she says, making an effort to sit up and ignoring So when he tries to make her lie down again. She rests against his chest, her arms circling his middle in a motion as natural as breathing. "How could I ever abandon you with the wolves?"

"I've beaten wolves before," he muses, but Hae Soo doesn't find it amusing, she's spent too many years tending his wounds and giving him precious memories to think about him going back to the start. Her hand moves up and down his back, the sick soothing the one to be left behind, counting his heartbeats and wishing hers could match his as they once did.

"I don't regret it, So," she whispers, taking a deep breath. "Not many people can say they married their best friend. I could probably fight Soon Duk over who has the happiest marriage."

So chuckles. "I don't recommend fighting Soon Duk over anything, she has a penchant for winning."

"I'd win, though," Soo says, propping her chin on his chest and looking up at him. "I'm the queen."

"And do you like it? Being queen?" So pats down the few strands of hair that go awry near her temples, making Soo blink slowly in sleepy contentment.

"I like you. I like taking care of you, and I like it when you take care of me." She rubs her cheek against his chest, feels protected and safe with his arms around her, feels young like the Hae Soo who was rescued from falling, even if Go Ha Jin is much older than anyone knows. "I like that being queen means I can stay with you. I wish I could advise you more, that I could help you more."

"You help me enough." So kisses the top of her head. "What did I ever do to deserve you?"

"Not everything has to be earned, Wang So," she speaks, looking to the side and remembering things she kept thinking about these days, past days, a further past. "I did nothing to deserve a second chance after I lost everything but I found happiness with you, even after all of our mistakes. We could have missed it if we thought too much. Where would we be now, if I had not been honest with myself?" She looks up at him and there's mischief in her eyes. "I'm not sorry I used you and married you."

So laughs. Now they both have a list of things they aren't sorry for, a list of things they accepted in the long run, a list of mistakes that makes up their truth. He kisses her lightly on the lips, his wife's days of passion already gone, but there's still romance in her, there's still the light he sees in her eyes when she looks at him, there's still her fingertips on his scar and the adoration that he doesn't know if it came from her or him the first time, he lost track of it along time.

They hear Ji Mong calling from outside their quarter's doors, asking permission to enter, and when it's granted, a little bundle of joy runs in their direction, catching itself shortly from crashing into Hae Soo, remembering her condition, remembering their manners.

"Mom, are you feeling better after talking to uncle Jung?" Seol asks, bouncing back and forth between her heels and the balls of her feet.

"Yes, love, your uncle has lent me his strength," Soo says, lightly shaking her fists in front of her. "Fighting!"

"Fighting!" Repeats their daughter, making the queen and king of Goryeo laugh in delight. Ji Mong observes the family, smiling with pride as if it were his own. It is. "Will you read me a story tonight, mom?"

"Your mother can't read for you, love, it tires her too much. Do you not like it when your father reads for you?" So asks, pulling the little girl on his lap. She pouts.

"I do, but I miss mom!"

Soo pats her head, feeling strengthened and weary, feeling everything at once every time she looks at Seol.

"Why don't we take a day to ourselves tomorrow then?"

So frowns.

"Soo..."

"It'll be okay," she tells him, then turning her attention back to Seol. "We can ask uncle Baek Ah to give us a ride in your father's boat." So scoffs.

"Baek Ah? He can't even row for five minutes straight. I'll do it myself."

"Daddy's jealous!" They sing-song together, giggling, and So gives another indignant scoff, picking Seol up and throwing her over his shoulder, making her squeal.

"Time for bed!" He declares, carrying Seol away as she waves at her mother and Soo waves back. Ji Mong watches them leave, and speaks when they can no longer hear.

"You've done so much, Hae Soo."

Soo touches her chest, the pain she had been ignoring in her family's presence.

"Have I done right or wrong? Sometimes I still can't tell."

He turns to her.

"He's king. He's happy. Do you regret your family?"

She shakes her head.

"Never. But I can no longer tell how much I changed things, I can't tell how much I've damaged time with my selfishness."

Ji Mong moves to their window, looks up at the night sky.

"Even the moon loves the Earth so much that she can't stay away from it, for as long as she exists."

Soo looks down at her hands, pale and thin.

"The moon can't hurt anyone."

"Can't it?" He turns to her. "Sometimes she gets so close to her beloved that she inflicts her intensity on the sea, and the sea can't help but swallow those who can't run away fast enough. Sometimes she's red and passionate. Sometimes she blocks all of the sun's light so she can be the only one to look down at us. All of it can be explained, Hae Soo, and it also cannot be changed."

Soo is quiet for a while, waiting for her pain to subside, gathering the courage to ask what she's always wanted to ask.

"You once told me to let fate run its course, and I didn't— couldn't abide." She looks into his eyes. "What do you think I was sent here for?"

Ji Mong has a twinkle in his eyes when he smiles at her.

"You met, befriended, and loved someone just in the way they needed. You've brought life into this world. That's all there is to it, my queen. Sometimes, it's the only answer we get."

Hae Soo is not strong enough to hold back the tears.

"Then why was my life so short? Why can't I spend more time with them?"

Choi Ji Mong, the man who came from the future, has no answer. He only looks away from his queen, away from the child engulfed by time, and thinks about how even stars die, even if they're so beautiful, even if it's not fair.

* * *

"Please tell the king... that I'd like to go to the beach."

"When, my queen?"

"Soon."

* * *

 _From water I came and to water I shall return._

She can't walk without his help, his arms holding her up. The waves come and touch her bare feet and she feels the waves pulling her, lulling her like a siren. It can be easily explained, but it also can't be helped. They come and pull back, white foam caressing her dress. She feels too warm outside and too cold inside.

She looks at So and it's actually So, Wang So, stripped from Gwangjong's attire. He's hiding himself, protecting himself, but to Soo he feels more real than he usually did, even if Gwangjong was a loving husband, even if Gwangjong wasn't as terrible as she feared. She loves Wang So. Likes it better when he bares himself and she's the only witness. All the years by his side made her a little bit possessive, a little bit proud to be the object of his affections, giving color to all the memories they shared. She has to let go now.

"You must remarry, So."

He widens his eyes.

"Ha Jin..."

"You can't sit alone at the throne, you need more protection, you need..." She smiles, her thumb slightly rubbing off the concealer. "You need a queen. You need a family."

"You and Seol are my family, Ha Jin."

"You're going to live for many more years," she says, and she's crying but she's still smiling, and she has to set history on the right course. She can't go in peace without it. "You'll need a queen to support you, you need strength. You know that. You need to be strong for both you and Seol." Her tears fall and join the salt of the sea. "You can't die with me. You need to live."

With one hand he holds her waist and with the other he holds her hand, his tears falling uncontrollably. Hae Soo knows it's going to be a new moon that night, no one to shout words of love to the Earth.

"You're the only one I'll ever love, Soo," he says, kissing her palm, her knuckles, her brow, to the corner of her lips and the only lips that knew his. She has to let go. She can't think about it. She knows how it'll end and she can't think about it. She's short of breath and she hates it, she misses the days she could kiss him to her heart's content, now she can barely stand in his presence.

"I love you," she says, and she means it. He looks at her in a way no one else would, in any lifetime.

"If you go back... If you find yourself in another place, another life, I promise I'll find you. Will you wait for me?"

Go Ha Jin laughs. She's only dreamed about it for years.

"Do you really promise?" She asks, breathes, and he nods, vehemently, surely. She trusts him. He stood with her in the rain, and he stays with her with the sea at their feet. _To water we belong. Moved by the moon's love._ "Then I will." _I will remember you._

They stay together until the sun sets, until darkness comes, and until Hae Soo draws her last breath.

Neither of them have any regrets. There's only promise. Only a promise.

And they are known to keep their promises.

* * *

For more on So and Soo as king and queen of Goryeo, in a world where Yo never reigned, I recommend Lady Silvermaine's beautiful work, "Imperial", one of the original inspirations for this story.


	7. In regards to the future

Go Ha Jin rushes into the bookstore, rubbing her arms to warm herself up, and bows to the cashier. It's in times like this, when her breath condenses in front of her, that she almost regrets having cut her hair short, another layer of warmth missing against her neck, but she decides to let it go. She tries to brush it back into place by using the store's window as a mirror, the ends poking out of her scarf, her bangs straight and proper against her forehead. She's so different now than how she used to look two years ago, right before her accident, and she's damn proud of it, too, shedding her past like an old skin. She nods to herself when she's satisfied and moves to the art section, where she has been informed new books arrived.

She prefers the books on ancient art more than the ones with details. She already knows the details by heart, her shelves are full of them, as are her memories. There are details she cherishes and details she tries to forget, and her mother really didn't understand why her daughter came back home with no penny to her name and a newfound love for Goryeo history. She understood it much less when Go Ha Jin cried while reading history books, but she suspected it had been the trauma. She isn't entirely wrong.

Still Go Ha Jin can't keep herself from digging more, from trying to remember more, from hanging paintings on her bedroom walls. She likes the ones Baek Ah did the best, she recognizes the precise tracing of his brush, the movement, as if the flowers are alive, sometimes soft and sometimes sharp, about to be carried all the way to her from across Lake Dongji. She likes his gisaengs and their dances, recognizes her good friend in them, and she's proud to have been a witness to their story. She thinks that if they had met in a different age, when their kingdoms were still powerful, they could have made a different kind of history, just like she did. If time had allowed it, and if they had allowed themselves.

Go Ha Jin still doesn't know if time had been on her side, or if time is more indifferent and unchanging than she perceives it to be. Her world was still her world when she woke up and after she remembered it all; the same people were in their respective places, nothing had fallen apart or begun anew. Time is stronger. She is just a young woman, hanging onto a promise. Hanging onto a scar.

She tries not to run through the aisles, this is a new store, people don't know or understand her enthusiasm yet. She likes the soft pastels of the walls and the good taste in their decoration, likes it that they have a section for used books. She has long developed a liking for old books, their yellowed, folded pages, she herself adding annotations to them, underlining her favorite passages, making poems and moments her own. There are words she misses tracing over. She makes up for it in her own way.

Her heels echo all the way to a back row where she finds what she's looking for. A new book on Gwangjong of Goryeo, the culture and art of his time. She looks left and right before she cracks open one of the books and flips through the pages until she finds her favorite painting. It's not even Gwangjong's most famous, it only takes up one fourth of a page. The king and his first queen sit together on the throne, a shocking, disliked pose, her head resting against his shoulder, their hands touching. She knows their fingers are interlaced even if it can't be seen, a gesture so intimate and never seen at the time, but she knows, and the knowledge makes her grin. It's the biggest version of the painting she's seen and she'll make sure to make a copy and hang it on her wall, right above her bed. It's the only one that had been missing out of all the ones she wanted. She flips the page and sees a painting of Queen Daemok and she closes the book with a thump, counting her blessings.

She's about to leave when she sees a poster on the wall right behind her, about an exhibit on Goryeo Dynasty the store is holding only a few weeks away, right between Christmas and New Year's. The sign informs there'll be books and objects from collectors, and even the museum will be lending a few pieces. She's impressed, wondering what kind of connections the owner must have, right before she grabs her phone and marks an alert for the exhibit's opening day.

"Ah," a voice says as she's fumbling with her planner's settings, and she almost drops her phone. "So you're the Goryeo nerd."

She looks up and the first thing she notices is that he works at the store, he's wearing a black apron and a nametag. No, it's not the first thing she notices, the first thing is so much that it can't sink in at once, the comprehension gets pushed to the back of her thought process by a millisecond, but her eyes don't have that luxury, they can't look away from his, they take everything at once, the polite smile, the hair, in a slightly lighter shade, pushed to the side, his nose and the way he blinks. He walks up to her and tilts his head to the side and she feels between worlds, between time. Her heart beats so fast she's almost sure she's inherited Hae Soo's condition. No, she _is_ Hae Soo. She's Hae Soo and he's amused at her for beating up a prince. He always seems to be amused and delighted at her.

"Strangely, you don't look the part," he continues, and she realizes her mouth is hanging open.

"That's..." She swallows, holding her new book close to her chest. "That's rude, you know. You can't judge people like that." He laughs and scratches his nose slightly, like a habit.

"I"m sorry, I've just been told someone just as interested in the Goryeo Dynasty as me had stopped by a few times and I got excited."

She tries to find a sign, tries to find anything in him that tips her off, tells her heart to calm down, to make sure before leaping into his arms, to make sure she doesn't make a mistake, she could ruin everything and she had already been waiting for so long it was almost like she had lived every day in the thousand years they had been apart, waiting, hoping, repeating his promise over and over again in her head. He's smiling and he seems honest but his hands are clasped behind his back and then buried in the pockets of his apron. He keeps a safe, social distance. She wants to kiss the memories back.

"You're coming to the exhibit, right?" He points to the poster and she nods. "There should be many interesting things for you to see, even from early Goryeo period. Do you have a favorite—"

"Gwangjong."

His movements seem to be in slow motion to her, the after-image of So following him like a shadow. He gives her a lopsided smile. She shows him the cover of the book she intends on buying and he nods.

"He was a remarkable king, even with the controversies surrounding him."

Go Ha Jin feels herself hide underneath her scarf, her nerves and disappointment getting the best of her.

"He was good... A good person."

The man raises his eyebrows. Ha Jin reads his nametag, attaches a name to him: Lee Hyun Woo.

"Because of his reforms? Perhaps. Some say he even married for love the first time."

Ha Jin shifts her weight from one foot to the other, she feels very shy, a feeling she only ever felt with Wang So, the only break from her usual extroverted and friendly self. She's silent for a little while, peering up at Hyun Woo and looking down again, and the man clears his throat.

"I'll make sure we contact you when we get new books on the Goryeo Dynasty. Is there anything else you like?"

"...Poetry."

She reaches into her bag and shows him the book she's currently reading, so many pages marked, so many highlights. The man called Hyun Woo smiles fondly at her book, and she hopes it's because of her. She wants to stay and wants to run away at the same time, wants to go home and plan a new strategy, one where she wins him back over, one where she sticks around even if he doesn't remember her. He's there and that means the promise isn't broken, it's just... Incomplete. Ha Jin is sure she can deal once she doesn't feel so overwhelmed, her eyes full of him and how good he looks in light colors and a turtleneck, and she wants nothing else but to fit back into his arms, his face at the perfect height for a kiss, missing the tilt of his head to better capture her mouth and his taste. Her fantasy is broken when she realizes he's holding her book back to her and a pressed flower falls from between the pages.

She holds the book as he bends down to pick up the flower, her peony, holding it carefully in his palm. She picks it up, her skin coming in contact with his, and she can't keep from blushing. He's probably seen too many sides of her, discovered too many things, and Go Ha Jin bows, forces a smile and tells him she'll be back to the exhibit before she hurries away from him, embarrassed. She's almost at the corner of the aisle when she hears, clearly,

"Go Ha Jin."

She stops. Turns on her heels, looks at him through hot tears. His hands are by his sides, no longer hiding from her view. His smile is no longer polite, it's shy, small in the beginning and then big, bright. She fears she's going to drop her book so she places it on the nearest shelf, waits, hopes she hasn't misheard, hasn't daydreamed.

"Ha Jin," he repeats. One of her feet takes a step in his direction.

"So?" She asks. She feels weak when he nods and she's running, throwing her bag to the ground and running to his arms, letting herself cry and the whole store probably hears her, even in their little corner, their little Goryeo. He holds her tightly and keeps her upright, keeps her from falling to the floor. He whispers _Soo_ against her hair and she feels so warm that she might just collapse right there. Instead, she asks, "Why didn't you say it was you from the beginning? You're so cruel."

"I'm sorry," he says, pushing her back to brush her tears away. "I needed to make sure you remembered, I wanted to get closer to you, I wanted us to fall in love again, in this life." He holds her face with both his hands, and _oh,_ it's his adoring gaze, no one has ever looked at her like he does, and she laughs and cries some more. "I had even planned a line where I compared you to Gwangjong's beautiful first queen."

"That would have been terrible!" She whines, hitting his back with no force in her small fist. "I was agonizing over whether you remembered or not, you know?" She pouts and sniffs and he makes a strangled noise before he hugs her again, rocks her back and forth, apologizes. Ha Jin smiles, nuzzles him, enjoys his new scent.

"Am I forgiven?" He asks and she nods. He breaks their embrace and wipes her tears away with his sleeves, brushes her hair back into place. "You got a haircut," he remarks, and she reaches up for her bangs, self-conscious.

"Do you like it?" She asks and immediately cringes at how it sounds.

"I love it."

She beams at him, touching his apron with her fingertips, afraid, deep down, that he'll forget her and everything if she backs away. He leans closer to her but his eyes dart to the bookshelves and he leans back, still touching her cheeks, caressing her.

"Why don't we go get a coffee?"

"Can we...? I mean, aren't you in the middle of your shift?"

He grins.

"I'm one of the owners and the manager. They can afford my absence for a little while."

He finally lets go of her and moves to grab her discarded bag and the book she had set aside. He gives them both back to her and removes his apron as she adjusts her bag back on her shoulder.

"Wait here while I go get my jacket."

"I'll just pay for this and—"

"It's yours," he says, causing her to blink.

"But—"

"It's my gift to you. To make up for scaring you." She loves it when he adjusts her scarf, feeling protected by him. "I made you cry again. I'm a terrible boyfriend." Her eyes narrow in mischief.

"I don't remember becoming your girlfriend, Hyun Woo," she says and he laughs, so broadly and in a way she has rarely seen before. _He's happier in this life, my So. I hope he is._

"I'll be right back," he says with a wink, and Go Ha Jin feels like a teenager on the first date with her crush, a crush that lasted for a long, long time.

The cashier looks at them with widened eyes when Hyun Woo returns, looking absolutely stunning in his black trench-coat, and offers his arm to Ha Jin. She tries to hide herself behind his frame as she slips her arm around his, she's never one to flaunt her relationships, and to the world it's their first meeting, their first date. When she looks up at the man she's loved for over a thousand years, who is her family and her home, she decides everything is so silly.

He remembers. He still loves her. He wants to fall in love with her again.

She thanks her star, hers and his, and hopes they're shining brightly again.


	8. In regards to us

"So that's what happened," Hyun Woo comments, setting his cup down, after Ha Jin told her story. "Only a year had passed when you woke up? Despite being in Goryeo for ten years?"

She nods.

"I didn't remember right away," she says, tapping her barely-touched cup. "I had dreams for months before I realized they weren't dreams. I first realized when I browsed through a webpage on Goryeo Dynasty, I was so curious about my dreams that I couldn't help it, and then... It all came to me."

He smiles.

"Everything?"

"Everything."

Hyun Woo taps his fingers on the table, he's looking at them, and Ha Jin feels he's a little sad.

"What was it like for you?" She asks, leaning forward, eager, she can't help herself around him. His smile is fond and so is his touch, his hand reaching out for hers, holding it like he's asking for a dance.

"I still don't remember it all. I remember you, everything about you, our lives, our family, but things after that are still unknown to me." He caresses her knuckles, deep in thought. "I've read about it, of course. About Gwangjong." He takes a deep breath. "They started when I was five, the flashbacks. I used to be terrified of them, they were mostly of Shinju. I'd wake up with her screams still in my ears. I think I made my mother a little sick with worry, back then. I was withdrawn at school, scared of adults. My brother had to hold my hand when we went out until I was ten."

"Your brother?" Ha Jin interjects, eyes wide and curious, and he chuckles.

"Dae Hyun." His smile broadens. "You know him as Yo. He set the bookstore up for me, I even live upstairs. He owns the building."

Her awe amuses him and then she grins.

"And you get along?" When Hyun Woo nods, she bounces in her seat. He's laughing and looking around to see if she got anyone's attention, and Ha Jin decides to just drink her tea.

"Anyway, I wouldn't get memories of an older Wang So. They came little by little as I grew up. I didn't even think about them as memories until I started dreaming of you as a teenager. And then," he leans forward too, and Ha Jin wishes they had picked a different café, with smaller tables. "I'd wake up and be disappointed that you weren't there. It was like I knew you, like you were a natural part of my life. I felt myself missing you." He looks down at their joined hands. "But I did better in school, then. I had taken up track in high school and I felt like I soared. As if the girl from my dreams was cheering for me."

Ha Jin squeezes his hand.

"I would," she said simply.

"Too bad I stopped competing in college." He shakes his head. "In any case, the more I studied, the more I was certain everything had happened. And when I dreamed about our promise, when I lost you..." He takes her hand in both of his, and Ha Jin thinks that he's grounding himself to the present. "I had to find you. So I set up the store and the exhibition, hoping to find you, and that you'd be as drawn to Goryeo as I was."

"You set up the store for me?" She asks, squeaks, and he gives her his lopsided smile.

"Not entirely. I've spent a large portion of my life around books and history, and even though my mother thought I should pursue journalism or something a little more practical, Dae Hyun knew I'd be happier sharing a space with books and people who needed them. But I did arrange the exhibition for you. He thinks I'm an idiot and a disgusting romantic."

"Aren't you?" Ha Jin asks, teased, she hasn't felt so well and playful in a long time.

"He's engaged and an embarrassment around his fiancée, so it goes both ways." They laugh together and fall into comfortable silence, only the ambient music around them, his hands warming hers, and Ha Jin feels like she could stay for hours in his presence. He had missed her for so many years, long before she even traveled to and returned from Goryeo. He's always beating her to it, always loving her first. _It's not fair_ , she thinks, not in the life where she doesn't have to hold back. She leans forward again, before she makes herself sad.

"Did you meet anyone else? I mean, if we're here, and Yo is here..."

"Actually—"

"Lee Hyun Woo!"

They both turn to the voice that reverberated through the café. From where the owner of the voice stands, Ha Jin can barely be seen behind the tall seats, but she sees him clearly. She watches as he rushes to them, already starting his monologue before he's even near them.

"What are you doing here, and what nonsense was it that I heard that you were on a dat— Ah!" The young man jumps when he's close enough to see Go Ha Jin fully, a hand on his chest, and Go Ha Jin's cheeks start to hurt from all the smiling and grinning she has done that day, but she can't stop it.

 _It's Baek Ah._

"Go Ha Jin, this is Jeong Joon Hyung, a good friend of mine who also works at the store. He's helping set up the exhibition. Joon Hyung, this is Go Ha Jin, my date."

It takes a couple of seconds for Joon Hyung to bow to her.

"It's a pleasure to meet you. Sorry about that. I thought someone was playing a prank on me when they said Hyun Woo was on a date and that he was just out brooding somewhere as he usually does around Christmas."

" _Hey_."

Hyun Woo seems ready to kick his friend and Ha Jin stifles a giggle, taking her hand back from Hyun Woo's touch, feeling self-conscious now that someone else is there, remembering it is supposed to be their first date. Hyun Woo looks at her and seems ready to say something but she beats him to it.

"Actually, I was thinking that maybe I could help with the exhibition too?" She offers shyly, and Hyun Woo turns his body away from Joon Hyung and back to her. "I could put my awfully extensive knowledge of Goryeo Dynasty cosmetics and self-care to good use?"

"There are going to be some make-up items from the museum, aren't there?" Joon Hyung asks Hyun Woo, who nods.

"It'd be good to have you there," Hyun Woo says, and Ha Jin smiles to herself, looks down, drinks her tea. Joon Hyung looks between the two of them, and they barely take notice of him.

"Hyun Woo," he says, catching the other's attention. "How did you find someone who's as much of a Goryeo nerd as you?"

"Complete chance," he answers. Ha Jin tries to hide her smile behind her cup.

* * *

It's not a big exhibit, and the place is never full of people. Ha Jin talks to students, to children, to curious couples. She talks about customs and make-up and soaps and she has fond memories all the time, especially when she spots Hyun Woo watching her, a little far from her listening crowd, looking proud and pleased and happy all at once. She thinks about how she hasn't felt helpful in a while, not ever since she woke up, and how her two lives can finally converge into something that makes her happy, confident. _I belong here_ , she thinks, and here is everywhere, it's where she stands right then, it's her spot under his gaze and his thumbs up whenever she finishes talking. She belongs. For the first time, she's happy she's back.

She only sees the man the moment he speaks, as if he was purposefully hiding behind other people, waiting.

"Is it true the third king, Gwangjong, made extensive use of make-up?"

Go Ha Jin freezes at his question but she recognizes him. He wears glasses now, the goatee is gone. But he's smiling in the very same way he did then, a deep secret behind it. It's not something dreadful or ominous, no. It's the secret of the stars, the secret of the universe. He hasn't aged a day, as if he's stepped right out of time itself. Ha Jin smiles back. She knows the answer to that question.

"King Gwangjong had a scar under his left eye caused by his mother, queen Sinmyeongsunseong," Go Ha Jin explains to the present, looking at the man who looked like Choi Ji Mong, Hyun Woo's attention on her evident out the corner of her eyes. "In his years as a prince, he supported the crown prince, who eventually became King Hyejong, but he was feared and shunned for his appearance." She can't decipher Hyun Woo's expression, and she has no source to cite, but she keeps going. She knows this. Everyone should know this. "He took upon himself to cover his scar during a rain ritual and his popularity rose, but his heart remained the same. He stayed loyal to Hyejong prior and after his coronation, and he was appointed crown prince for his efforts and intelligence. Everyone forgot about his scar." Their eyes lock across the room. He doesn't have a scar anymore, but she's still proud of it. Still proud of him. "I'm positive he would have been a mark in history whether or not he had covered it up, but the heart that was truly healed by using cosmetics was not that of the people; it was his own."

The man who was once Choi Ji Mong bows to her as the audience claps. She wants to talk to him, to question him, to know what he knew, but as the people disperse, as he walks away and she tries to walk in his direction, Hyun Woo is suddenly there, he's clasping her hand and leading her away, to a distant aisle, where there's no one but the books and the drawings of flower petals on the wallpaper.

She's ready to ask him something, anything, why he dragged her away, if he liked her work, if he liked her lecture or if she'd be scolded for her apocryphal teachings but he's holding her face and stealing her breath away. The kiss is desperate, deep, he's ruining her make-up and he has to shield the back of her head from hitting one of the shelves but he doesn't stop, she clings to the back of his shirt, she's not pulling back either, she's confused about his emergency but she has longed for him, and he kisses her in the exact same way, _God_ , he doesn't stop until their lungs almost give in and even then he still pecks her lips between breaths.

When she flickers her eyes open he still hasn't moved away. He's hovering above her, his perfectly shaped nose touching hers, and she has to lick her lips before speaking.

"Hyun Woo...?"

"For years, I hated the dreams," he starts, taking in everything about her, her eyes, her fringe, her nose, her lips that he touches, the lipstick fading from her skin. "I hated the violence and the feelings that choked me when I woke up. And then there was you, and I longed for you, like every minute that you weren't with me was wrong. I searched so much for you, Ha Jin," he cups her cheeks and there are tears in his eyes. "I loved you and I was sure of it, I was sure it was real, and it hurt when it wasn't. And today you made everything okay again." She reaches up to wipe his tears away but he captures her hand, kisses her wrist, where there once was a scar. "That entire life... All this waiting. I can accept everything because you're here now. Everything becomes lighter with you."

She holds him tightly, tries to hold him as tightly and desperately as he needed it. "You must have been so scared," she mutters against his chest, remembering the pain in So's face when he told her about his life. Remembering his smiles when they met. His tears when she was dying. It was only a year for her, but it had been so long for him. A lifetime. He had to live it twice, he couldn't even have a normal life in this era, and still he smiled at her when they saw each other again. Like it had all been nothing. _Everything becomes lighter with you._ She rubs her cheek against his chest, feels him kissing the top of her head. "It'll be okay now. You don't have to do anything alone anymore."

She backs away from his embrace and wipes his tears with her sleeve, causing him to laugh, her fingers lingering where there once had been his scar. He blinks slowly, as if he could also remember it, all the times she had caressed it. It had only been only yesterday for her. Did he know? How much she adores him and his heart?

"I never told you," she muses, more to herself than to him. "I never told you that I love your scar because it's a part of you. That I love you the way you are, that I love your flaws and the way you make me laugh." She distances herself only a little bit, only to take in his face and expression and only then she remembers he's Hyun Woo and he no longer has a scar or a bloodied sword. "Am I too late in saying this?" _I'm sorry. I should have told you more. I should have told you every day if I knew you would spend so long not hearing it._

But Hyun Woo shakes his head, his hand covering hers.

"My Soo."

It had been _Go Ha Jin_ then. Every time he said it she fell in love with him. She realizes it had never been about the name. It had only ever been his voice and his eyes that saw right through her, saw whom she really was and called her with raw affection. He still does. Hyun Woo. He is still her So. Maybe not entirely, Seoul has no need for princes, but in ways. In the heart. In the soul. In how much he loves her.

She beams at him and he grins. _Please don't hate yourself anymore._ She lets go of his face and intertwines their fingers and she's so glad she can be affectionate to him in public now, she completely forfeits her self-consciousness, she wants to be in love and she wants to show it. She'll show it until they're too embarrassed to walk in public and then she'll show it indoors, in the intimacy of their home, and she blushes in delight when she thinks about the life she wants to build with him. Again. Again and again. Her lipstick is still on his lips and she tries to wipe it off.

"Ah!" His interjection makes Ha Jin jump a little. "I forgot to show you something." He's dragging her back to the exhibition room, where she hadn't had the time to inspect all the items on display. He stops before a glass case and her fingers tighten their grip around his.

It's worn out and broken in places. The colors have faded but she can tell exactly where the red had been. The butterfly is gone. But it's the same piece. It's her hairpin. The hairpin he gave her when he gave her his heart.

"Dae Hyun had a lot of trouble convincing the museum to let us borrow it for our little exhibit and he will never let me forget about it but I wanted to get it for you." She looks at him and he seems embarrassed. "I'm sorry I can't give it _to you_ but..."

She finds it adorable, the way he apologizes.

"Thank you, Hyun Woo."

She's still admiring it, leaning close to the glass and remembering when she used to wear it as his queen, she feels his hand let go of hers and when she looks at him, he's placing a ring on her ring finger, on her right hand. Her eyes widen as she looks at it, it's so simple, small, not even gold but it has a beautiful pink gem that reflects all the lights in the room.

"I'm not proposing yet," he says, and he seems to be conscious that there are people looking at them. Ha Jin knows Joon Hyung is one of them. He keeps going. "But I wanted to give you something to remember by, to remember the moment we met again." He kisses her hand and speaks in a voice only the two of them can hear. "I don't want to waste a minute without you. Our time together in the past was too short. I want to spend many, many years with you."

She kisses him and the room erupts into applause. Hyun Woo's laugh when they part is embarrassed, she can tell he doesn't like attention but he does everything for her anyway. _You're right. Ten years wasn't enough._ She hugs him and whispers to him, knowing he'll hear above the noise, above Joon Hyung's happy whistling, "That sounds like a proposal."

"Would you accept it if it was?"

She giggles. He's Wang So, all right.

* * *

No one believes her when she tells them she's not engaged. Not when she keeps looking at her ring, when she calls him whenever she's on break, when he waits for her after every shift to take her home. When she visits him at the bookstore, he helps her pick a new book, she tells him the ones she's read already and he tells her his favorites. When they sit together in a café, she shows him some of her favorite passages, and he looks more at her than at the books, asking her to read to him, his arm around her shoulders keeping her close and warm, fingers absent-mindedly fiddling with her scarf or hair, like a story, an old story, that picked up right where it left off. She also reads to him at home, under candlelight, the fire coloring him so beautifully that she can't stay focused, the book soon set aside along with their clothes. Sometimes she sings. Their song. Looking at him with his hair contrasting against the pillow, beautiful hair even when short, even in a lighter color.

"Why do you dye it?" She asks, running her fingers through it.

"People kept saying I looked like Gwangjong in college."

"And you didn't like it?" Her petting makes him close his eyes.

"Not if you weren't there to see me."

She kisses him.

"I like it."

The first time she sees his brother, she freezes. She has no good memories of him, but she forces herself to smile and be polite since he's a good brother in this life. He still stands like royalty, his burgundy suit fitting nicely in the ambiance of the bookstore, but she thinks he's still intimidating.

"You're Go Ha Jin," Dae Hyun says, and she wonders how he could tell before she's even uttered a single word. "Hyun Woo has shown me a picture of you. Also, I was there when he bought that scarf for you."

She shifts her weight from one foot to the other, holding the ends of her scarf.

"You also like history, right? You helped with the Goryeo exhibition at the end of last year," he asks and she nods, biting her bottom lip but still smiling. He'll think she's just embarrassed because he's her boyfriend's brother. It's what she hopes for. "I never got to thank you." She bows quickly.

"Oh no, it was nothing, I was just glad to help Hyun Woo and to put all my Goryeo knowledge to good use," she says, waving. He smiles at her and she notices his eyes have lost their edge. She smiles back.

"You know, I don't remember ever seeing Hyun Woo so happy. The two of you meeting was something like..." The phrase hangs in the air, and he just shakes his head. "If you ever need anything, just tell Hyun Woo to give me a call."

She bows again, mutters her thank you, and when he keeps smiling at her, she knows he's liked her. She's glad the past doesn't have to catch up to everyone, that second chances can be given regardless of whether you had earned it or not, just like kindness. That hearts can be brought together. She hopes Hyun Woo and his brother can meet Jung again. That they can be friends this time around.

She walks to the back of the store where Hyun Woo is, and she finds him reading to a few children. Her greeting is caught in her throat and she decides to just watch him instead. He reads carefully, encouraging their reactions, a variety of expressions and tones and voices, and she loves how he brings the story to life and makes the kids laugh. She traces her ring, remembering Seol, remembering how happy So had been with her around. One child walks up to him and sits on his lap and he scoffs dramatically, asking if the child wants to hog the book and the child promptly takes it from him. That's when he notices Ha Jin standing there and he smiles at her, getting up and leaving the children to look at the pictures.

"You should have told me you were coming," he says, giving her a peck on the lips.

"I wanted to surprise you," she says, hugging his middle and resting her head against his chest. His heartbeats are even and familiar. They match hers.

"Any particular reason?"

"Not enough chances," she says, enjoying the sound of his chuckles from up close. "It's cold tonight, let's order take-out and watch a movie."

"Those are the least exciting Friday night plans and I love them, let's do that."

Ha Jin sighs deliberately loudly and peers up at him.

"I've been on my feet all day and I'm really tired, maybe I won't even stay up during the whole movie."

"I'll tell you the ending in the morning." He kisses her forehead and Ha Jin doesn't even mind that she's sore and that she came straight from her store to him and that she hasn't washed her hair in two days. He brushes the strands back into place and wipes stray glitter that ended up on her cheeks during work away. She's so glad she can go to him again.

"Hyun Woo," she calls, not letting go of him.

"Hmm?"

"Let's move in together."

He tucks her hair behind her ears and she makes a mental note to trim her bangs.

"And here I thought you were getting tired of me," he says in the least convincing tone. She looks at him sleepily, dreamily.

"And I'm going to tell everyone you're my fiancé."

"Dae Hyun is going to say he already knew."

"So will my co-workers."

"And it's only been three months."

"How did they figure it out?"

She can feel his smile on her lips when he kisses her and it's one of her favorite things.

"You two are disgusting. There are children around."

Ha Jin bites her lip to keep from laughing when he pulls back, trying especially hard when Hyun Woo rolls his eyes.

"And you've been standing there just waiting for your cue to say that, Joon Hyung."

"I have not, I just walked in and was attacked, how will you take responsibility for my innocence?"

"You could go back to work for instance, I'm pretty sure I heard the entrance bell."

Joon Hyung throws his arms in the air dramatically, causing Ha Jin to giggle, and she catches his wink right before he turns away from them. Her little brother from Goryeo, still her little brother in Seoul, still supporting her and everything she did. She thinks she can't possibly be this happy, not the overworked, messy Go Ha Jin, who was no longer a well-born lady or a prince's wife or a queen. She sees Hyun Woo is taking off his apron, ready to leave and take her to her well-deserved rest at his apartment. Maybe happiness doesn't have to be earned, either. Maybe it just happens, one day. All you have to do is talk to people. Open up to them. Love them. And not hold back.

Right before they leave, they see Joon Hyung helping a pretty girl find a book. Ha Jin pulls lightly on Hyun Woo's hand, catches his attention, points in their direction. Joon Hyung has the warmest smile at the girl who tells him she can never pick the right birthday present. She wears her hair in a high ponytail. Her make-up is still as beautiful as Ha Jin used to make for her, when she danced for the king's court.

 _Don't hold back, little brother._

* * *

He jolts up in the middle of the night, scaring her awake.

"Hyun Woo? What's wrong?"

He's sweating and holding his head and she feels his back tense when she tries to soothe him. She kisses his shoulder and he looks at her. His eyes look dark and pained.

"I could feel their stares on me, judging my every move. They wanted to kill me, Ha Jin. All of them were plotting against me. I couldn't even see Seol most of the time."

He lets out a ragged breath and Ha Jin guides his head to rest against her chest, hoping her heartbeats will soothe his, holding and comforting him until the fear fades away. "You're not alone anymore," she says, over and over, both of them fall back on the mattress, she doesn't let go, not once. He falls asleep before she does, she's glad, he's finally stopped crying. She kisses his forehead even when he can't feel it, she hopes it gives him good dreams, better dreams, not memories that are no longer needed. _I'll take care of you._ _I'll protect you._

Time is an irregular unit at night. Only a few minutes pass when you think it's been an eternity and it's morning when you finally feel like you can sleep. Go Ha Jin doesn't know how many hours she's slept, she's still store, her eyes hurt, she only knows it's early and that she's awake. She gets up on that Saturday morning and makes him breakfast. She makes him all his new favorites, and also his old favorite, his favorite tea. She places them all on a tray and tiptoes to his room, setting it by the foot of the bed before kissing him awake.

"Good morning," she says, brushing his hair away from his eyes. He has adorable bedhead, her fiancé.

"Why are you already up?" He asks, eyes trying to blink sleep away.

"I made you breakfast."

He sits up and she moves the tray closer to him, sitting by his side and feeling his arm slid naturally to her waist.

"A good start for your day. Aren't I a great wife?" She giggles, but when he looks at her, the laughter fades out. She's transported back in time, to the first time he ever looked at her. The intensity, the magnetism that she can't look away from.

"Yes," he says, his voice making her shiver. "You are."

His kiss is languid, sleepy, slow, a morning kiss, a thank you kiss, and yet it still leaves her wanting more when he pulls away.

"We should stay here the whole day."

He nuzzles her cheek, down her chin, to her neck. She smiles in desire and happy memories. He plants a soft kiss on her neck before pulling back.

"Will you stay with me?"

Ha Jin touches the skin under his eye, caresses his cheekbone, cups his cheek.

"Of course I will."

They eat breakfast together, then wash the dishes, then cuddle up together. Ha Jin falls asleep at one point, and when she wakes up, she's greeted by his smile. Soon, the weather will change and it'll be too hot to stay tangled up together, but it's still cold then, she can still leave her hands under his shirt to warm up, she can still enjoy his arms around her like the world's best blanket. And in the spring, they can go on dates and picnics; in the summer, they can go on vacation, go somewhere else, maybe meet people they missed. She plans and dreams and wakes up by his side. She knows from experience that she'll never get tired of him. That she'll never regret choosing him, not the first time and not the second time. And one day, their family will grow again, and they'll live all the years they couldn't before, together, in peace. And there'll be no more memories to rob him of his sleep.

"I love you," she whispers sleepily from her position against his chest.

"I love you more," he replies, kissing her hair. She makes a displeased sound.

"This isn't a competition." She tightens her hold on him. "Also not true." He hums in agreement. They stay in silence for a little while until he speaks again.

"Sun."

Ha Jin is too comfortable to move.

"Hmm?"

"Seol. Let's call her Sun this time."

She moves. Props her chin on his chest, darling hair falling all over the place in a beautiful mess.

"I like it."

She kisses him, they have lost count of how many times they've kissed that day and it doesn't matter, it feels as good as the first time. Especially when he pushes her back, and her body remembers, his exact height, his taste, and the feeling of his arms around her. She enjoys his weight on her, the way his fingers lace perfectly with hers, and her name on his lips, like no one before him and no one after him will ever utter.

Her husband.

Her Wang So.

* * *

 _ **Dae-hyun  
**_ From Sino-Korean 大 "big, great, vast, large, high" and 炫 "shine, glitter; show off, flaunt".

 ** _Sun_** means _goodness_ and I've failed to find the proper hanja, forgive me.

 _ **Jeong Joon Hyung**_ means you should all just watch Weightlifting Fairy Kim Bok Joo, honestly.

Thank you all for your support, not only for this story but for all of my SHR stories. It's been a great year for me, I haven't written this much in a long, long while (perhaps ever?!) and it feels so good, especially for all the kind people that needed goodness and love after our favorite show left us hanging.

I hope we continue to see each other in 2017 (whispers _don't forget me, don't forget SHR_ ), and may it be a great year for all of us. And let me shout one last time before we part:

OUR SO/SOO ARE COUPLE OF THE YEAR! LOVE WINS!

Happy new year!


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